Category Archives: humor

Something to give us a good laugh

I usually write things that can be pretty serious, here on the Takedown, and I make no apologies for that. Life is a serious thing, and all too often we get our “advice” or input or whatever you want to call it in the form of infomercials, motivational posters or the likes of Dr. Oz or Oprah Winfrey; in other words from sources that are either (a) useless, (b) trite, or (c) so totally removed from what the average person deals with that it’s laughable.

To that end, I saw this and decided to post it in the hopes that it would give my readers as hearty of a laugh as it did me. The image comes courtesy of my good friend Hambo over at The PIGazette (that stands for The Politically Incorrect Gazette, for those who may not know) and in the “fair warning” department, I’ll say this. If you are easily offended/outraged or have little to no sense of humor, do me a favor and don’t read it – or at the very least, read what comes after it when you’re done huffing and puffing. (And also, I’m presuming that the person holding the sign is a woman, and the caption supports the idea but in truth, I honestly cannot tell and so it could as easily be a man who is White Knighting for the militant feminist movement or women in general. You’ll have to make your own call on that one.) 

chastity belt

On a more serious note, it illustrates to me a couple of VERY good points that modern ‘feminism’ seems to miss:

  • The freedom to do what you want is just that – the freedom to do what you want. Unless those ladies in the Hooters shirts had a gun put to their heads or were illegally coerced into doing that job, they chose to do it, and do it willingly. They had a right to do so; the same right that Miss “Women are Not Decoration” seems to want for herself in order to hold up the sign. It goes both ways.
  • There’s a difference between feminism, which I believe in, and militant feminism, in which I do not. Militant feminism is exemplified by the woman holding the sign. She looks angry, she looks miserable, she’s dressed like she just rolled out of bed, and it’s not unreasonable to presume she was there protesting Hooters. That brings me back to point #1 and causes me to ask “This is helping the equality of women how?” In your own way, you’re demeaning them and trying to remove their choice as much as you claim men are/have/still are.
  • Consider the difference in impact had it been a well dressed, elegant looking woman (or even a scantily clad woman, I suppose) who held a sign that said something like “Like what you see? I am a successful business owner/a mother/a wife, and I have X Y or Z degree. Women are not just for decoration.”  BAM! Great message, well presented and it gets the point across.

The Boot of Truth, even in this? Freedom of choice is freedom of choice. As Penn Jillette said, “You don’t have a legal right to not be offended, but you have a moral right to avoid things that will offend you.” 

Sounds like this lady should have listened to that advice and exercised her rights.

And I’m not even TOUCHING the “chastity belt” comment. You go after that one on your OWN. images

God bless, my friends!

 

A good laugh for the day and a tip of the hat!

Hey all! Well, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted but when I saw this article, I knew I had to put a blog post up about it. I am a firm believer that far too many of the policies being enacted in schools and on college campuses today are laughable and absurd at best, and downright insane at worst, but this young man had the right idea.

Sometimes, the best revenge is to play exactly by the rules as written. As one comment on the article said, “Let’s see how long they play by ‘his majesty’s rules”.

Well played, young man, well played.

Enjoy, and God bless today, my friends!

http://heatst.com/culture-wars/u-of-michigan-student-successfully-changes-his-preferred-pronoun-to-his-majesty-on-class-roster/?spot_im_comment_id=sp_KQ9w41Dd_50929_c_IJIEod

AVAST, YE LUBBERS! This be a post ta remind ye o’ somethin’ important!

Tis hard fer me ta’ believe, much less admit, but in all me time o’ runnin’ this blog, I clean fergot ta make a post ta give a shout ta one o’ me favorite days of th’ year – International ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day!’ Tis a day that comes but once a year, an’ I want ta make sure that all me loyal mates, mateys an’ readers know about it!

It’s international, so whether ye read me scribblin’s from the US of A, or from somewhere else on th’ globe, ye still can be part of it. Here be th’ banner:

tlapdbanner2

An’ here be th’ page fer the Day itself – check it out, says I, or it’ll be walkin’ th’ plank ye’ll be doin’! ARRRRR!

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

There be but 89 days left, so make sure ye’re ship shape an’ squared away.

Th’ Good Lord bless ye’ today, me hearties!

 

What happened to humor? Part II

**Note: I came back and edited the title of this post after seeing that my original post used the word ‘humor’ as opposed to ‘comedy.’ I did want it to be a “Part II” and felt that it fit better that way. — The Doctor

For those who may not know, Will Ferrell is set to play the late former President, Ronald Reagan, in an upcoming movie. Listed as a “comedy,” it’s supposed to be a humorous look at the President as he suffers from advanced dementia stemming from Alzheimer’s and is convinced by an intern that he’s an actor playing the part of the President in a movie. (The ‘suffered from dementia’ thing is a standard go-to for those who wish to put down the former President, although as I understand it, the premise has been pretty thoroughly debunked and, conveniently enough, both he and his wife are dead, now)

When I saw a headline regarding the movie, I was immediately reminded of a scene from The Mark of Zorro, starring Tyrone Power. The scene comes at the end, after the bad guy has renounced his seat of power and announces that because “his health is endangered” (meaning he didn’t want to get the business end of El Zorro’s sword!) he is returning to Spain. As he leaves, the priest takes him by the arm and, brandishing a pistol, says the following:

And now, your Excellency, I personally will accompany you to the wharf at San Pedro. I wish to bless your voyage – and ask God to REWARD you according to your MERITS.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I am not a hand wringing person who feels that just because I don’t like something, it should be banned or not produced. (Well, there are exceptions to that rule, but they are extreme ones like child pornography and the like) I do believe, though, that there are some things that simply are not funny and are not subjects for comedy. In this instance, I am not alone. The responses to the movie seem to be along the same lines; both friends AND foes of Reagan; admirers and detractors, are coming forward to decry the premise for one simple reason. Alzheimer’s is not funny. People who have watched loved ones degenerate, not recognize them, and then finally waste slowly away and die can tell you that. 

But even with that being said, I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy. How about a humorous movie about that AIDS thing? I mean, it’s been some 30+ years since that came on the scene. I’m sure a joking movie about Freddy Mercury’s life and contraction of AIDS would be o.k., right? How about a funny movie about Steve Jobs dying of cancer? Hey here’s one – think of the laughs, as one comment said, if we did a movie about a member of a prominent family who wrecked his car and left a young woman to drown in it. As he comes out of the water with a neck brace, he exclaims, “It needs more cowbell!” Think of the hilarity! Or how about a funny movie about suicide? I mean, we could do one on no less than the funniest man on Earth – Robin Williams. That would HAVE to be humorous, right? Or rape! Now THERE’S a subject I’m sure you could get big laughs with.

No? What’s the difference? I mean – what’s it matter? Make fun of disabled people, mental retardation, children with things like Down Syndrome – it’s just a joke, right?

The Boot of Truth? Yes, there are those who feel that literally ANYTHING is fair game for comedy. I am not one of them. Some things are better left alone. Even comedy needs limits – good taste is still good taste. Some “jokes” say a lot about the person who makes them – and even more about those who laugh at them, whether they laugh sincerely, or for other reasons. I’m not advocating preaching at people, or being one of those finger wagging nannies who constantly reminds people “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!” because, in truth, that’s not a proper response, either. Sometimes the best thing to do is simply not laugh, or ignore the comment.

What I am suggesting is this: take a look inside your own heart and see what you feel and think about it. Only you can decide what you’ll do in these situations but I hope that many, like me, will choose to object and make their voices heard in the most direct way possible; don’t give a dime to this movie, or projects like it. Someone, somewhere, has to say, “Enough.”

I don’t wish ill on anyone, but Will Farrell and others like him had better hope that what the priest said in The Mark of Zorro doesn’t come true. Should the Almighty choose to take note and reward him according to his merits, he may find himself in a very uncomfortable position. I don’t believe in “karma,” but I know I wouldn’t want to make a movie like that and then suddenly develop Alzheimer’s myself, or find a family member had.

Poetic justice, not karma, can be a real pain, sometimes.

God bless today, my friends.

 

 

 

 

What happened to humor?

I have, as of late, been thoroughly enjoying video clips of Craig Ferguson cutting up with the late Robin Williams on Ferguson’s late night TV show of years past. They are a treat to me, although I have to confess that too much of the good Mr. Williams (especially when laced with a heavy dose of Mr. Ferguson) tends to make me somewhat manic for the rest of the day! My sons love it – my wife keeps edging toward the phone, smiling. Go figure.

I digress, though.

Today, I came across this clip of Craig Ferguson, and it truly made me sit back and do some thinking. It also gave me the post that you are now reading. Yes, it has some humor interspersed, but the overall message is a very serious one. Here’s the clip:

When he got done, I sat and thought about what he had said and realized that I, like him, agree that many times, the price that is paid in the name of “humor” is simply too high. When we look at the Anna Nicole Simpsons, the Britney Spears, the Lindsay Lohans – these are people who, although they are ultimately responsible for their actions, need help, and need it badly. They aren’t, to me, proper fodder for jokes and comedy routines. It’s like when Family Guy started featuring the old man who was a pedophile (Herbert, I believe his name is) – I remember distinctly telling a friend of mine that at that point, I stopped watching it. They had crossed a line that, to me, you don’t cross. There’s nothing funny about a pedophile, at least not to me. (To be fair, FG had been getting closer to that line for a LONG time, but that was finally the last straw, I guess you would say) When you look at the trainwrecks of lives that we now regularly see and follow on TV, on “reality shows” and the like, somehow they stop being funny when you realize that that’s a real person you’re watching, who is suffering real consequences for their very real actions. Craig Ferguson had, at the time of this video, been 15 years sober. He knew what it was to have been at the bottom, and to have found help and to fight every day to stay sober, and keep his life in order. Although I’ve never been an alcoholic, I know what it is like to lose complete control of your life and have to, essentially, rebuild it and realize just exactly who you are and what you’re doing. He realized that it wasn’t a subject for quick, cheap laughs and I applaud him for it.

Now, why am I saying this? Am a Fascist who wants to censor free speech or ban “that” kind of humor? Hell no. People have the right to choose what they find funny and not. What I am is a person who believes, as apparently Mr. Ferguson does, that sometimes there is a line in humor, and that we need to be cautious of crossing it. When you make humor out of someone destroying their lives, harming themselves or others, and the like, I firmly believe that you’ve forgotten the very real things that you, yourself, have done that have harmed you or others – or if nothing else, have forgotten a simple thing like compassion. Compassion doesn’t mean you excuse the behavior – but it does mean that you don’t join in with the roar of the crowd like a bloody coliseum. Humor doesn’t need to be cruel in order to be humor.

I don’t like what these people are doing to themselves – but I also won’t sit and gleefully watch them drive themselves into the ground. It could just as easily be me, there, being watched by others, if there were circumstances in my life that had been different, and if I had not, by the grace of God, gotten help and had real and true friends and family who helped and supported me. Every day is a battle to make sure that it doesn’t become me.

You know what? It could just as easily be YOU.

If it IS you, remember something he said at the end – there are people who can help. They’re very close to the front of the telephone directory, or a few keystrokes away on the internet. You are not alone. Don’t give up.

God bless today, my friends.

 

 

An adventurous start to my day, and a good laugh for you!

Ahh yes, this morning I rolled out of bed a bit after 0600, as usual. I pulled on my robe (A Father’s Day gift – it has the red loops and yellow “belt” for a sash, as well as the Superman logo on the chest), and wandered out into the kitchen to get some coffee going. As is the norm, I looked out our kitchen window to look at the lake near our apartment. (By way of info, it used to be the local reservoir, but when a new one was chosen, this one was fenced off and is now a haven for fish and wildlife) As I did, however, I noticed that something seemed to be wrong….

Something was floating on the surface of the lake.

I didn’t panic, but my heartbeat kicked up a notch as I realized that it looked just about the right size and shape to be a body. A small one. That may sound silly, to you, but there’s a large hole in the fence that I cannot seem to get our maintenance department to understand is dangerous, and so it isn’t closed. That would have given access to the lake, should someone decide to try….

I grabbed my tactical flashlight and told my oldest son to stand by as I headed outside. (He’s an early riser like me) I went down the hill to the fence line and shined my light out on to the surface of the lake as I did two other things:

  1. Prayed VERY fervently that what I was afraid had happened had not, in fact, happened
  2. Got ready to either go over or under the fence to hit the water in case it WAS a body, after I had activated EMS

As my light played over the figure on the surface, I suddenly felt a large wave of relief as I realized what it was; a large Mickey Mouse doll that had, somehow, ended up in the water and was floating, face up. I clicked off my light and then stood there and laughed the adrenaline out of my system as a sense of great relief flooded over me.

The crowning moment of it all came later, however, when I was relaying the story to my sister via text and she said two things:
“You know things are getting bad when Mickey Mouse jumps!”

“That really took the zippety out of his doo da day!”

I hope you got a good chuckle out of the story, too, and are as glad as I am that it turned out to be nothing! I promptly put a call in to our maintenance department as a follow up and suggested they get it OUT of there before some kid DOES go in after it!

More posts as time warrants – my First Responder course is going well, but it’s taking up a good deal of time. God bless, my friends!

Some encouragement for us all, today – don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself!

I was reminded, again, this morning, of how healthy a thing it is to be able to laugh at myself when I do something that is either downright silly, or when the unpredictable elements of life all decide to get together and have a huge joke at your expense. I had been sending texts back and forth with my sister, as is our custom, and she remarked that where she lived, she was fogged in.

“Your higher elevation, no doubt,” I replied, sagely.

“Yep.”

That was it. That was her reply. When I read it, this image came immediately to mind, and is hereby posted in honor of my incredibly OBVIOUS statement, made like I was quoting a universal mystery:

Captain Obvious

I had a hearty laugh at myself, needless to say, and can only thank God for however many times my friends and family didn’t slap me one when I, no doubt, have done that in the past. On a similar note, I can still vividly recall taking a young lady whom I loved dearly, out one night. It was, for me, something I had waited for and dreamed of. (I believe the phrase is “I had it bad”) I took her to our local Friendly’s and we got a booth and ordered food. When the food came I picked up the catsup bottle and began to vigorously shake it in a half circle, so as to let the catsup come out more easily and –

Why are you laughing? Oh. Yeah. You can see what’s coming, can’t you? I can hear you snickering already. Just keep reading. 

The first indication I had that disaster was imminent was when the top went pinging across the floor. My arm muscles refused to STOP STOP STOP and instead kept turning the bottle, which ended up with a large streak of red down the wall beside me, across the seat, up my left side and smack into the left side of my face. It smeared my glasses and spattered into my hair and for a moment, it seemed like the world stopped. Then my friend, God bless her, burst RIGHT out laughing, as did some of the people around me. Did I scream? Cry? Act all embarrassed and apologize profusely? Nope. I pulled my glasses off and, with as much calm as I could, picked up a napkin and began cleaning the lens, saying, “So…what were we talking about?

Then she DID laugh; and I did, too. To end it right, I stood up and took a bow – and everyone within eyesight was roaring, as I was. She still remembers it, to this day, and so do I.

O.k., so what’s the point? Where’s The Boot Of Truth? It’s here, and this is the point; none of those situations were fatal. Our society is focused on image, poise, that ‘perfection’ that this one or that one has and, on top of it, with the advent of the hypersensitive PC movement and all its labels, we’ve forgotten how to do a very simple thing – laugh at ourselves, as well as at the very human mistakes of others. Laugh at our foibles and our mistakes; our missteps and our screw ups. 

It doesn’t HAVE to be that way, though. If you haven’t already, or perhaps you’ve forgotten how, do yourself a favor and learn to laugh at yourself. We’re all human, and we all mess up. My dad used to say, “Might as well laugh as cry,” and we’re all probably familiar with the saying, “Unless it’s fatal, it’s no big deal.”  It’s true.

Here’s a couple of articles on the subject, submitted for your perusal:

http://www.lessonsfromlois.com/view_article.php?articleID=3

http://www.laughterremedy.com/2012/04/the-sixth-humor-habit-take-yourself-lightly-laugh-at-yourself/

God bless, today, my friends – and don’t forget to laugh!

A quick funny for us, today, courtesy of Uncle Otto

There is an online radio channel that comes out of Wisconsin by the name of WRJQ. (They can be found at http://www.wrjqradio.com/ should you be interested) They play a lot of polka and old-time German oom-pah band type music and generally are just upbeat and fun to listen to. About two years or so back I found they have a show on called The Uncle Otto Show. It runs from 1200-1300 hours, CENTRAL TIME, and is a mixture of bad jokes, puns and music. Our chuckle for today comes from that show, and be ready for more in the future!

Hope you get a laugh – or a groan – to start your day!

“Say, Otto, you look worried.”
“Ja, I worry so much, I’d pay someone $1000 just to worry for me.”

“Well…you know, Otto – I’d worry for you if you like.”

“Ok, you’re hired!”

“Wow…ok – hey, wait…when do I get my $1000?” 
“Well, see – that’s your first worry, right there!”

God bless today, my friends!

A chuckle to start your day

I ran across this article and it gave me a good, hearty laugh to start the day. I hope it does the same for you! (The article is below)

It reminded me of this picture that I saw, years ago, of police officers carrying away a statue of Ronald McDonald from a park, looking for all the world as if they’d busted the famous clown:

mcbusted

As far as the article is concerned, hey, if you’re going to break the law do it big, right?

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2015/03/25/cardboard-most-interesting-man-fails-as-carpool-lane-ruse/?intcmp=features

God bless (and stay thirsty!) my friends

A blast from the past – and may you laugh as hard as I did :)

When I was a young man, there was a show on the radio (I’ll pause while those of you too young to remember ancient technology like AM radio go look it up on Google. Ok – are you back? Good.) called The Dr. Demento Show. It was a radio show dedicated to some of the most weirdest and yet, many times, some of the most “fall down laughing and wet yourself” music you were never likely to hear on the radio. This was the ground on which Weird Al Yankovic and others became well known, and the ground from which the routine I am about to reference was introduced to me.

The routine was done by a group called The Frantics and the proper title is Last Will and Temperment. However, for reasons that will become obvious, my friends and I simply called it “Boot to the head!” It still, to this day, makes me laugh, ESPECIALLY when I watch the video I am going to link here. Some enterprising soul took the soundtrack and linked it to animation from a Japanese series called “Phoenix Wright,” as I understand it.

The results speak for themselves, but needless to say, the first time I watched it, I laughed so hard I had tears pouring down my face and almost couldn’t breathe. I truly hope you enjoy this to that degree and, when you may be having a down day, come back and watch it again to bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your lips.

Enjoy, God bless and when all else fails, remember, “GIVE THEM A BOOT TO THE HEAD!”