I saw this first one over on the Politically Incorrect Gazette, located at www.pigazette.com and immediately laughed out loud because (a) it SOUNDS like something I’d say to one of my sons and (b) I’m old enough to remember the pre-PC/Tyranny with Manners days when men with long hair were either hippies, homeless, or worse and people SAID so. (Strangely enough, no one died from it. Go figure, but I digress)
Quick note – IF you decide to check out the Prosaic Pages of PIG, let me give you something from the “fair warning” department. It is NOT a place to go if you are easily or chronically offended, if you are rampantly in favor of Political Correctness or think that our government/President can do no wrong, or are just generally not in favor of opinions and viewpoints different than your own. The main man, Hambo, and I have had some memorable go rounds over differences of opinion, but we are friends and at the end of the day, we agree to disagree because that’s what rational adults do. I encourage you to check it out but, well, I warned you!
Here’s the first funny:
“A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son: ‘You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.’
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, ‘Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.’ The boy said, ‘You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair … and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.’
To this his father replied, ‘Did you also notice they walked everywhere they went?'”
The second funny comes from a story allegedly told about George Steinbrenner by Lou Pinella. Again, it’s a memorable example of a very quick wit which never fails to make me smile, and also something I’d definitely use on one of my sons, given the opportunity:
“Lou Piniella was traded by the Kansas City Royals with Ken Wright to the New York Yankees for Lindy McDaniel on December 7, 1973. Piniella says that trade turned out to be the greatest moment of his 18-year playing career. After he was dealt, Piniella couldn’t wait to get to Spring Training with the Yankees.
Lou Piniella arrived at camp with the Yankees in Ft. Lauderdale in 1974. He walked into the clubhouse on his first day and quickly realized there wasn’t a uniform in his locker. Anxious to get on the field and get started, Piniella asked Yankees equipment manager Pete Sheehy what was going on. Sheehy told Piniella that George Steinbrenner saw him walking in from the parking lot and said that Steinbrenner wanted to talk to Piniella in his office.
Piniella did as he was ordered and walked into Steinbrenner’s office. He introduced himself as one of the new players from Kansas City, and he told Steinbrenner how excited he was to be with the Yankees. There was a problem though. Steinbrenner told Piniella, “We’re happy to have you here, but your hair is too long.” The Yankees had a strict hair policy under George Steinbrenner, a policy that existed until Steinbrenner’s death in 2010. Piniella didn’t see the problem with long hair, so he decided to debate (no surprise, right?). He told Steinbrenner, “Our Lord Jesus Christ was the greatest person who ever lived and he had long hair.” Steinbrenner didn’t say a word, instead he just grabbed Piniella by the hand and walked him across the street to the Ft. Lauderdale swimming pool. Steinbrenner pointed at the pool and told Piniella, “If you can walk across that water, you can wear your hair any way you want to.”
Let’s just say Piniella lost the argument…”
God bless, my friend, and enjoy your day!